GRRRR

I'm so angry with myself. I lost all self control and binged for pretty much the whole week straight. I feel so disgusting right now. Starting tomorrow I will have amazing self control. I would say today but the day started out with a brownie, ugh. I'm going to be good the rest of today though, so it's not like I'm saying "oh it's okay if I eat badly today because my diet starts tomorrow". I'm saying "oh I'll do my best today but it didn't start out well so I'm not going to count it, but I'm still going to be as good as I possibly can to get a jump start on my diet" kind of thing. Not stepping on the scale today, way way too afraid to do that. I know I shouldn't be afraid of the scale. The scale isn't evil or bad, the scale is impersonal. When it comes to me getting on the scale the only thing that I should be afraid of is me, because I'm the one who did good or bad. The scale isn't some evil entity bent on destroying my self confidence by showing me increasing numbers. The only one who is sabotaging me is me.

Sorry about the ramble, I tend to do that a lot so I'll apologise now for future rambles too. On a happier note I went shopping last weekend and bought pretty new clothes. For years all I wore was like blue, then all I wore was dark browns, greens and black. I'm tired of looking like a smurf, and of looking like a funeral director. When I went shopping I told myself to get something bright and that made me feel pretty and happy. So I bought lots of fun coloured things, lots of lavender and teal. I'm getting some big purple nerdy glasses at the end of this month after my optometrist appointment and I wanted clothes to go with the glasses. A family friend introduced me to a site where you can get glasses for like 20 dollars so I'm going to get a few pairs, yay. I thought instead of trying to bury away my inner nerd like I've been doing for pretty much ever ( I was the kid in middle school with glasses, braces, and frizzy hair, yikes! and the second the braces were gone I got contacts and a flat iron) and embrace my inner nerd. I watched Chipwrecked a while back and was like "man when I was little I wanted to be just like Jeanette". Obviously I don't want to be a chipmunk, but I do want to be more like the little girl I used to be who thought that being smart was cool. Another ramble, see I told you! I do it way too much.

Anyways I hope all of you lovely ladies have a great weekend. Hey to new followers little miss fairy, aiamire, Jay, HeatherMB, Sophie, Pretty-Unpretty, and Molly. Some of you have been following for a while and have left me some lovely comments but I haven't officially welcomed you to my blog yet. Here's some pics to say sorry for not blogging very often this week. Hippy thinspiration YAY!

Love you all,
Emma