Saturday, February 18, 2012

Back on track

For the past couple of days I've weighed in at 160 or higher and it was really getting me down. Now I'm down to 159.2 which doesn't seem like a lot but being in the 150s again really means a lot to me. I feel a lot better now that I'm back in the 150s and I'm ready to give being thin my all again. Yesterday my boss said he'd get me a large shirt and I felt so ashamed. It was so hard not to cry. Then I got home and was like "I'm already fat so I might as well eat like it" and ate so much chocolate. My grandma got me chocolates for valentines day, which was really sweet of her but it's hard to have them and not be tempted. They're very high calorie and sugar, but I do need to finish them because I feel aweful about throwing out food. I just feel insanely guilty, plus my family doesn't have a lot of money so throwing out food seems like a slap in the face to my parents. I would give them to my mom but she doesn't eat chocolate, my dad's about to start some crazy intense diet so my mom will kill me if I pawn them off on him and my brother can't have the milk in them. Oh well. I'll just suck it up and eat one a day, so that's 110 calories extra. I'll just have to be extra careful about my other meals. My parents are really starting to crack down on saving money because we had to buy an extra car so that my brother and I can get to work. It's a really cheap run down car, but it still cost more than they would have liked. AHHH! Stressing about money does not help with my anxiety, and my anxiety makes me want comfort food. This is no help. Anyone have any good recipes for food that's somehow comforting, filling, low calorie, and inexpensive? I feel like I'm asking for a miracle.

Hope all of you lovely ladies are having a good weekend
Love Emma

3 comments:

  1. oat meal is cheap and fills you up fast
    110 cals per bowl for the one i have
    and thats all you need!
    and i know what you mean about being back in the 150's
    im 140.2 atm and its driving me nuts
    tomorrow i should be at least 139.8
    and im allergic to chocolate
    and i never waste food...
    cept for the fact that im bulimic. :[
    so i guess its kinda wasting...
    ugh. well try out oat meal
    and anything thats high in fiber
    makes you feel full longer!
    good luck darling <3
    how tall r you btw?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome thanks, i'll definetly give it a try cause I've never actually had it before. I wish I was even near the 140's and good luck getting to 139. I puked for a while and in my head i was freaking out at myself the whole time about the cost and the waste, i guess its good for me that im crazy obsessive about it or else i probably would have ended up bulimic. Anyways, thanks so much for the oatmeal tip, can't wait to try some. and im 5'7

      Delete
  2. I know what you mean about the guilt - we don't have much money either so I hate throwing food out.
    And also, try a low-calorie drinking chocolate. The powder isn't too expensive (I think...) and this means -
    A: chocolate taste, and we all know chocolate is a comfort.
    B: hot water fills you up a LOT, meaning less room for the REAL fat.
    It only costs a few extra calories for a little milk and sugar.

    ReplyDelete