Addictions

My newest addiction is going on chat sites and asking people what they think of anorexia and bulimia, and pro-ana and pro-mia. My favorite is to go onto omegle and go into the spy one where you get to ask a question and watch other people discuss it. Most people so far pity people with anorexia and bulimia, or blame them and say they brought it on themselves. I don't know that I believe that. They're just as much of an illness and depression or schizophrenia, but I know lots of people who believe that those aren't real illnesses either. Most people didn't even know what pro-ana or pro-mia were. That surprised me the most. I feel like these communities are always being closely watched and scrutinised. But I guess outside of these communities no one really notices. When it's on your mind it's all you can think about. I watch people a lot at work when they eat and think, "that girl is really thin and she's hardly eating a single thing," or, "she wolfed that down really quickly before she went to the washroom, I wonder if she really is just peeing".

An update on my life. Hung out with some friends recently. A few compliments on my weight loss- I've lost about 6 pounds since I last saw these people- so that was nice. I wish I had lost at least 10 before I saw them but I shouldn't complain. Progress is progress right. As much as I love Shaye she did the same thing as last time. As soon as I got a compliment she started going on about how she thinks that she's lost weight again and that she hasn't eaten in days. Whatever. If she has lost weight then good for her I guess, and if she hasn't then I feel bad that she's lying to get compliments. I'm a bad friend. I really do love her, she's probably my bestie. I just get crazy super competitive. Especially when I drink, I get all paranoid that everyone is trying to one up me. Also, I got a blender. I'm in crazy hardcore diet mode right now up until school starts. I have just over a week. I will be in the 130's by the time that I leave. Even if it's 139.9 I refuse to start the school year in the 140's. If anyone has any good tips of motivation for losing 4 pounds in a week that they would like to share I am definitely open. Email me or facebook me or anything. It's crunch time and I need all the help that I can get!