147.1

It's coming off. It's finally coming off. But its not fast enough.

I've stopped counting my calories because it makes me too sad. Whenever I'm over I feel like such a disappointment. When I'm under I feel the pressure to eat even less the next day. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with friends. The ones I'm pretty sure are bulimic. The ones that always want to get lots to munch on. The ones who never actually eat it. The ones who are still my friends but I can feel them judging me when I do eat the food because I'm stupidnocontroltoofatcan'tdoanythingright not strong enough. So I won't eat in front of them if I can help it.

Comments:

PrettyLies: Oh I know I need to improve my upper body strength. I have some free weights and I've been using those a lot. Hopefully I'll see some improvement soon, but I get the feeling that I'm not doing it right. Any input would be very welcome.

Vampire: The sad thing is that I can't even do the girly pushups. Vertical ones sound good so maybe I'll try those. Then maybe I can build up to the girly ones lol

Camille (: I know your comment wasn't really directed at me either lol :p but its nice to know that I'm not the only one lacking in upper body strength. I hope we can both work hard and develop some

Nasimiyu: Arg that freaking award. Lol i need to get around to that but I just feel like its so invasive. That doesn't really make any sense does it? Saying that something is too invasive on the blog that I basically tell my entire life on. I'm probably just procrastinating.