Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Back

I'm back, again. I apologise for disappearing, again.

School is finally finished for they year, I have one pesky summer course that I have to take though, but other than that summer will be work, work, work. I checked my weight today and I was 151.2. Which is terrible. It needs to go down.

Breakfast: silhouette Greek yogurt (50), 1% milk in tea (28)=78
Lunch: 100g strawberries (32), 100g green grapes (69), 100g seaweed salad (106=207
Dinner: 100g broccoli (35), 1 tbsp condensed mushroom soup (6), 1 vegetarian scaloppine (180)=221
Total: 506

I think that's pretty good for a first day back. My body craves bread. I think that the lack of chips is putting me into the same with drawl that a heroin addict suffers from. I want to tear off my skin. Over dramatic, I know.

Updates on my life. My dad threatened to hit me again. What else is new. I wish he would just do it so then I could go to the cops. My mom says he doesn't really mean it. Does that matter? Should it matter? Shouldn't the the words be enough for her to see how he torments me? I won't let anyone bully me anymore. Speaking of bullies, that guy I mentioned before. Done. He was so controlling. He told me what to wear and what to eat and who to be friends with and who I could and couldn't sit with in class. When he got fall down drunk and called me a bitch in front of his friends and pinched me so hard under the table that it left bruises and tried to put his hand up my skirt in front of his friends mom I knew, I drove him home, tried to cry and ended up yawning instead, got properly drunk with my own friends, waited four days and dumped him. He still calls and texts and I would screen his calls except that I can't afford caller ID. He calls me "babe" and tells me that things will work out and that he hasn't felt this way about a girl before. I am NOT his "babe". I won't be.

This summer I will go to the public beach. That is my goal. I will go with my stick figure friends and I will not stick out. I will blend in, my bones will be my camouflage.

6 comments:

  1. On a serious note, shit with your dad, not cool. I'm pretty sure you csn try to formally report him if he threatens again as long as you have a witness to vouch for your credibility. Thing with boy, good for you for getting out of that. Ignore ignore ignore.

    Remember it's not about calories, it's about hard work and nutrition and moderation. We all know major restriction leads to binging, it's a tried truth.

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    1. Ha the witness part is exactly my problem. Oh well I'll be out of here eventually right

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  2. I'm in a bit of a messed up relationship myself at the moment. I think you're very inspiring, the way you broke off contact with him and are refusing to let him hurt you again. Thank you. <3

    Your weight's really not that bad. =3 At least, not from where I'm standing ahaha. XD

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    1. What? I seriously need to catch up on everyone's blogs. Inspiring? I doubt it, but its nice to hear it so thanks :)

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  3. This is my friends blog from Hungary, Léna.

    http://lenalobelia.blogspot.hu

    And I love your blog, too!

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    1. awe thanks so much, i'll be sure to check out your friend's blog as soon as i've got some free time :)

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